Update: It’s almost a year now since I’ve been back
It’s almost a year since I returned to the USA. One year to the day, I was in the Philippines at Layog Farm. It was so easy living simply there. Single lightbulb hanging in each room, bucket baths, hitchhiking to town. My aspirations at that time, a year ago, for my return to ‘normal’ life back in the USA were: Cycle Everywhere. Drive Less. Consume a Lot Less of Everything. Grow Food. Grow a Lot of Food. Don’t Fly Anywhere. Increase Community.
And, have a feeling of spaciousness, ease, in everything I do. Simply living a simple living.
How’s it going?
In this last year, Erik and I’ve driven a 32 foot truck across the USA, flown from Seattle to VT, Seattle to Austin and back, driven from Seattle to N. California and back, bought a pick up truck. I don’t cycle very much anymore, except to neighbors houses on the island that I currently live on.
I spend more time than I want on the computer, the phone, filling out forms, filing taxes, and trying to make money.
I’d dreamed of owning land, renovating a house or building a cabin, and growing massive gardens. And now I’m afraid. I am afraid to live in an old drafty house or a one room cabin with no running water or electricity, eating only pumpkin and turnips through the long winter, working sunrise to sunset, always being dirty, tired.
When faced with my dreams, I’m not sure I’m ready for them.
What I am a year later, is, very humbled. I’m trying to overcome a lifetime of habit energy of consuming and of always trying to do more, be more successful.
I’m pushed by a country, a society that moves like a deep brown river, pushing… pushing me down… down river, pushing me to move, to consume more, use more, and be more.
When I just returned from wandering the world, I did a faux interview with myself. I had space to dream and think, and I dreamed I would radically change the way I had lived before my trip. (http://www.storiesofliving.com/questions/)
I’ve drifted downstream, away from my dreams.
That is, of course, the darker side of it all. I’ve also discovered I CAN make community, and I know many of my neighbors. I’m actively participate on a political level locally. I’m still here, trying to live up to my values.
I just haven’t cracked the simplicity code in the US, where nothing is simple.